I'm Pissed!

And not in the English way of having drunk too much ale at the local pub.

It's been an interesting couple of weeks. I started taking Effexor, an anti-depressant about 11 years ago. I'd just retired from ExxonMobil, starting a new job and moving to a new city. I guess everything seemed to be closing in on me at the time and I wanted something to help smooth out the mood swings. It worked. It worked so good I just never felt like trying to get off the medication. The only real issue I had was that I was very dependent on taking it like clockwork. I couldn't miss a single day without feeling the physical effects. So I had to be real careful about making sure I had enough with me when I traveled. Then a few years ago I began reading about the bad effects of Effexor withdrawal. People trying to get off the medication or moving to a different one were reporting significant issues with stopping the medication. Many of the things I'd experience when I missed a dose - "brain zaps" that are like little electrical charges going off in my head every time I moved my eyes, dizziness, general discomfort to name a few have been an everyday occurrence since taking my last regular dose 8 days ago. Add to that having all my emotions and nerve endings being sandpapered then turning me loose on the world.

I've been having these one sided arguments going on in my mind, me lambasting the World with my real opinion of how things are being run. BP is on the top of my list at the moment. I don't believe that they learned any lessons to this day from last years oil spill. Their general feeling is it was a spot of bad luck for that to happen to them. Then there is the current state of US politics and the lines in the sand each side has drawn. To hell with consequences, each side has a point to make. What ever happened to Statesmanship? Where are the true leaders today when we need people to solve a problem not point a finger, saying I told you so?

I suppose what I am experiencing is almost like a narcotic withdrawal. It isn't like going back on Effexor itself would give me some kind of euphoric feeling, other than to make the withdrawal symptoms go away which in itself would feel kind of euphoric. So for the next 5 or 6 weeks, as I've been told, if you see me coming down the street, give me a wide berth. I just can't guarantee how or in which direction I'll go off. Maybe my wife should post a warning label on me:

The views expressed by this person do not necessarily

reflect those views and beliefs of this person when sane.

The State of the DisUnion

I’m deeply disturbed by what is happening in America today. The anger, the rhetoric, the unwillingness to listen to the other side of the argument. It seems to be the norm to just shout down the other person. Reason doesn’t enter into the discussion anymore. Simply volume. I see it all around from sports to politics to local issues. What happened to the middle ground? It seems it can only be one way or the other, my way or the highway. How did we come to this? Where can we lay the blame? I can only see one answer. US. You and me. We no longer respect authority figures. Look at what has happened to youth sports. Parents yelling at the referees and coaches, coaches yelling at the referees. Pressure to win at all costs. Then turn to pro-sports and these multi-million dollar premadonna’s throwing temper tantrums when calls don’t go their way. More recently members of Congress yelling out at the President when addressing that body of legislatures. Is there no sense of decency left in this country? With the new media, it so easy to pander to the basic elements of society and whip them into a frenzy. How did we let people like Beck, Limbaugh, Palin become spokesmen for America? Who is are these reality star people? I’d certainly not choose to associate with them in real life, why would I want to waste my precious time watching them on television. Is their so called life better than mine? I don’t think so. I feel sorry for them if anything. This rhetoric around the Ground Zero Mosque, which isn’t really at Ground Zero and really isn’t a Mosque, can’t we just sit down and take a good look at it. Wouldn’t it be a good thing having a mainstream religious organization there sharing and information people on the real values of Islam? Something to begin countering the lies and distortions of the extremists? We can’t bury our heads in the sand when it comes to Islam. I’ve never seen so many emails containing half truths and out right lies as I have seen lateley dealing with Islam. Yes we fear it and are scared of it because nobody outside of that faith really understands it. And whose fault is that? It lies on both sides. I blame the moderate Imen’s for not speaking out against the extremists and I blame the Christian leaders for not condemning the Christian radicals spreading the lies about Islam. All I know is that if the we keep ratcheting up the hatred and rhetoric in this country, we are going to be in deep trouble. Hey, at 300 years old, we are still the new kid on the block in world affairs. This experiment in Democracy can still fail and we simply became a footnote in history.

Well, there I was comfortably sitting...

Well, there I was, comfortably sitting on a sofa, shopping for a TV after having slipped away from work early. The cell phone rings and it's an old client asking what my availability is. It's Tuesday afternoon, so I tell him I am pretty much free for whenever he needs me. So he tells me to be in his office at 6 am the next morning, I'd be answering a few phone calls. This is approximately a week at the explosion and sinking of the drilling rig in the Gulf of Mexico. Next morning I show up, he sits me in front of a phone with a pad of paper and tells me to answer the phone, respond to the caller and take notes. 12 hours late, my voice mail box is full and I've answered about 100 calls. Next morning I bring in a second person. End of day same results, 200 calls answered and the voice mail box is full. Got real exciting when the Governor of Alabama called and couldn't leave a message because the mail box was full. By Friday we had a third person and were working on a database to categorize and record the information from the phone calls. Saturday morning we go live with the new database and 60 Kelly girls answering the phone, working 2 12 hour shifts, 7 days a week. So, fast forward, as compared to flash forward, 80,000+ phone records later and we are still here, taking calls. Been quite an interesting time, working 7 days a week, 12 hours per day. A couple of days off after being hauled off to the local ER and then a legit 2 days off for time served. I've been cursed at, told I was personally going to hell and instructed to quit working for BP. We've had calls offering help on how to stop the flow of oil from using really big tampons to building a Flux Capacitor (think Back to the Future). Even got our first bomb threat today. Wondering why that took so long. 

So, is this a tragic incident? Definitely. Is it an ecological disaster? Probably going to the worst we've suffered yet. Stop offshore drilling/production. I don't think so. We definately need to prove out deepwater technology. I suspect companies have forged ahead without the proper R&D in respect to the technologies to deal with this kind of disaster. Even though it is a rare occurrence, the potential impact is too great to ignore and if not proven, at least existing technology standing by to combat the problem. It is apparent that at least this company was not prepared for a spill of this magnitude and situation. But despite all that, we still need the oil. People always equate oil to energy, but look around you. How many of your day to day products from from oil related materials? Even some medicines are oil related. So at what point do we have to start choosing whether to use the oil for a product or for energy? It really seems like a no brainer to me. We have so many alternative energy choices, but it is going to be difficult replacing some of our man made materials. Wood and bamboo can only go so far. If there is any one positive thing that comes out of all this, maybe it will be the emphasis to develop these alternative energy sources into viable solutions. People are just going to have to learn to live with some of these other sources. North Atlantic states don't want drilling to occur offshore in their area, but try to set Wind Generators offshore and they raise all kinds of hell. I suppose it is ok to clutter up someone elses backyard, as long as I get what I want in the process. People are going to have to learn to accept reasonable solutions and balances to the energy issue. Unless there is some kind of revolutionary break through in technology, things like wind, sea, solar are going to local solutions. We'll never see this kind of technology generating the large amounts of energy to supply large areas of the country like current power generating stations using natural gas to fire large power turbines currently do or burning coal to generate power. Hydropower is great, but you can only damn up so many of the large rivers. 

The Rest of My Life

Paul Harvey used to have a segment on his radio program called " Now for the Rest of the Story". This would be bit that followed up what had occurred to someone after a news worthy event. I feel my life is at that point and I'm facing the rest of the story.

I've put off retiring for a number of reasons from the economy, the people who work for me at my company to having both children back at home. But I think the real reason is fear of taking the next step. Once I leave the workforce, it's like a door shutting behind me. One of those Fire Exit doors that only opens one way...out. It's also coming face to face with your own mortality. Admitting that you have lived the better part of your life and you only have a few more years left. I used to think that 10 or 15 years was a long time, but no more. I look back at the past 10 years and am amazed at how fast that has passed.

I had double bypass surgery in May 2009, a short 7 months ago. I guess that really started me to thinking about what time I have left. While we all live and realize the possibility that an accident could cause our death at any time, it's something that we all push to the back of our mind. If we dwell on it too much it ends up taking over our lives, making it unlivable. And dying from old age, well that is so far out there that it doesn't really seem real, like it will never come. Kind of like trying to imagine a never ending universe. But now, all of a sudden, it's there, right in front of me. While I can't see the end, I can almost feel it moving toward me and it's coming at a faster rate than I expected.

Well, I'm meeting with my financial advisor next month. She is running some simulations for me so I'll see what kind of lifestyle I'll be able to afford. I have a sneaking suspicion that Aston Martins and Lamborghini's are out. Oh well, I doubt the local shade tree mechanics in Wimberley could have worked on them anyway.

And so, here we go.....

And here we go......

I just love that line that Heath Ledger says as the Joker in "The Dark Knight" only to realize that nothing is going to happen. So it is as I embark on my own journey of blogging. Over the past year, as I travel back and forth between Houston, where I work, and Wimberley where my wife and I live, there has been ample opportunity to think about life and to solve the world's problems.

Now that the marathon Presidential campaign is over with the elections last November, I sincerely hoped that people would calm down and get on with thier lives, but it seems to have gotten even crazier. I'm hearing people talk about how disasterous the Obama administration is going to be, how he is going to ruin the country even drive it into a civil war in 2 years. People I know are buying guns preparing for the worse.

Where is all this insanity coming from? The Internet, that's where. It's so easy for a person to publish their own speculation (case in point this blog) based on the thinnest of evidence or even none at all. I guess it's really true, if it's in print it has to be real. You don't have to offer proof, just find enough people who want to believe. It's like the statement that 83% of all statistics are made up on the spot. I have begun to just delete all my emails that the title hints at some warning of one kind or another. I have enough to deal with my own fantasies much less get sucked into someone elses.

What I believe I am seeing is the hidden racist peaking out from behind people's facades. I had hoped people were getting past all that. Except for the extremists, most people I hear talk about what a disaster it was to elect Obama won't come straight out and say it's because he is black. They talk around the issues and try to hide thier racist view of him in criticism of his Presidency even before he's hardly begun. What happened to this grace period, the Honeymoon, we've given all past Presidents? Come on folks, we even granted W that courtesy. Like them or hate them, you have to admit that the Obama's are going to restore some dignity and style to the office of the President of the United States.

Well, I better pull back before I go totally over the edge in my first posting. Hate to crash and burn before I even get started. So as my favorite talking head used to say..."And that's the way it is...February 27, 2009"